Prada sunglasses, girl jeans, fat. Millions of fatties rejoiced yesterday when Guy Trebay of the New York Times announced the latest new fad. The sumo look. Guy has done much research regarding the matter, and maintains ‘hipsters’ are purposely gaining weight because President Obama is in shape.
“If we had a slob in the White House, all the hipsters would turn into some walking Chippendales calendar,”
That’s right stick it to the man! Sure rebelling in the 60s was about music and sex. But we’ve evolved past that, now its about Twinkies, texting, and finding ways to not get laid. It’s kind of like Woodstock, if Woodstock totally sucked.
“I sort of think the six-pack abs obsession got so prissy it stopped being masculine”- Aaron Hicklin.
The key to masculinity:
You may notice the lack of females, food supply was short.
Tough times call upon desperate measures. Picture this, you’re out in Atlantic City, and you’ve already burned through your whole weekend’s funds. Suddenly, you realize you have no money left over for slot machines, or to get home for that matter. There’s only one answer. Dress up as a female veterinarian, pick up unsuspecting animals in your Jeep “Rescue” Wagon, and generally get arrested. It’s the circle of life my friends! Just like that Lion King movie.
VINELAND – “Police arrested an Atlantic City man posing as a female veterinarian inoculating animals in Vineland. Daniel C. Tyce, 26, allegedly posed as Dr. Danielle Smith and ran South Jersey Small Animal Rescue, inoculating animals and setting up adoptions in exchange for small fees.” Source: PressofAtlanticCity
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